Melacholy and the Overwhelming Sadness

My mom-in-law came home from the hospital in January.

When she came home, hospice came with her.

With her illness, there were no expectations set with respect to how much time we would have with her.

Praise God she has been a real trooper for the last 7 months.

Lately there has been a tremendous change.

According to hospice, she is in the pre-active stage of death.

The pre-active stage of death can be 2-3 weeks, sometimes more.

Over the last few days, mom has told me she loves me countless times.

Over the last few days, mom has told me that I've been so good to her.

Over the last few days, mom has expressed abundant appreciation.

I am so thankful for this time with mom.

Selfishly, I want more time.

I need more time.

We haven't always been close.

There have been times when we didn't speak to each other for months.

I am filled with regret over the lost time.

I'm filled with sadness over what our relationship could have been.

What it should have been.

Sadly, a person got in the way...and we both allowed it.

There is no going back.

There is only here and now.

I will cherish this time that we measure, not in days but, in moments.

I will show her in word and in deed that I am here for her.

And I love her.

Why Wax Wings and Sunshine?

Well, why not? I have been thinking of starting a blog for a while now and here I am. In trying to come up with a blog name, I started thinking of songs and really wanted to use 'I Know I Can Be Colorful,' but alas, it was already taken. So, I started shuffling through the good ol' iPod and the song 'Flight of Icarus' by Iron Maiden caught my eye...thus the play on words.

In Greek mythology, Icarus is noted for his attempt to escape Crete by flight, which ended in a fall to his death. He and his father, Daedalus, were imprisoned. His father built two sets of wings from wax and feathers and warned Icarus not to fly too close to the sun. Thrilled with flight, Icarus drifted too close to the sun and melted the wax, plummeting into the sea which now bears his name.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icarus

In our youth, we are a lot like Icarus. Our parents warn us of consequences to actions, and yet, we fall...many times...while spreading our wings and learning to fly, often too close to the sun.