Remembering my Granny Inez.

Today I am thinking of my precious Granny Inez.  She is no longer on earth, but I KNOW without a shred of doubt, she is in HEAVEN! 

My first memories of my Granny Inez are from when she came to visit us in Colorado back in the early 70s.  She came half way across the US to see us via a Greyhound Bus.  We made signs on cardboard and waited impatiently for the bus.  At this time in my life, I hardly knew my Granny Inez, but of one thing I was certain - I LOVED HER!  My momma told me that I was just shaking when Granny Inez stepped off that bus.  

During that trip, she and I went on an adventure in the field behind our house.  She chewed Red Man tobacco at the time (EEWWW, GROSS) and I was so intrigued by it she let me chew a little piece.  It was the nastiest nasty I ever put in my mouth.  But, it was bonding time and a quick cure for any thoughts I might have had at the age of 5 about tobacco being cool.  It's so not cool.

That night when it was time for her bath, I wanted to go in the bathroom with her.  I was a velcro child to the granny I rarely got to see.  My mom came to rush me out of there.  I desperately told my momma that I just wanted to look at her.  I think my sweet granny let me stay.

I loved my Granny Inez with all my might for all of the years we were together here on earth.  I honestly feel that she was my kindred spirit.  She loved unconditionally.  She gave of her time and talents unselfishly.  She and I had many hours of just being silly.  She and I had many hours of being serious.  She was one of my closest friends and one of my greatest champions.  She believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself.  She loved Jesus and shared His love with everyone - an angel on earth until she went to be with Him in January 1995 after a six month battle with brain cancer. 

I miss her so...

17 Years and Going Strong

On March 19th, the love of my life and I will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. These days, making it to 17 years seems like quite a feat. Many of our friends have married and divorced multiple times. Some have had additional children in a failed attempt to save the marriage. Some have their own versions of 'The Brady Bunch.' Some are now alone and, I'm sure, lonely.

It is commonly said that marriage is hard work. Honestly, for me, being married to D is one of the easiest and most joyful aspects of my life. I am blessed beyond belief with a loving, hard-working, supportive, attentive, compassionate man. We've had our hard times, but we have managed to come through them together and bonded stronger than ever before. My Granny M's last words to us were, "be good to each other and love each other." And I am happy to say we are and we do!

One of the most important things I have learned about marriage is that fighting is inevitable, it is how you handle it that makes a difference. Trust me, as odd as it reads, there is a right way and a wrong way to fight! Several years ago, we defined what you could call our "Rules of Engagement." They are:

• Absolutely no name calling!
• Don't bring up old stuff. It's in the past and that's where it needs to stay.
• Don't make generalities like "you always do this," "you always say that."
• Choose your words carefully because once they leave your mouth, you can't take them back.

These work for us and I always share the list with anyone I know that is getting married. I'm not saying it is a perfect "system" but being conscious of your behavior in anger is great for improving your self-control and can keep you from hurting the most important person in your life.

I'm looking forward to the 19th and to celebrating the next 17+ years with my honey, D.